Vegan Butter

 Oh, butter knife.

I don’t envy you.

You’re just sharp enough

to pierce the vegan butter in my fridge,

but just dull enough

to fail at cutting my wrists.

You’re no better than a fingernail.

Your confidence is large,

but your success rate is frail.

You shine the brightest 

when opening the drawer.

I would choose you to settle a score

but the fork next to you

is so multifaceted.

You, on the other hand,

are one-dimensional.

Anything but exceptional.