Silver braided hair.
A face like a polished chair.
Ears that pierce the air.
Coconut cream skin.
A bust like a violin.
A forest of kin.
Refined princess smile.
An only daughter: a child.
Incredibly wild.
Silver braided hair.
A face like a polished chair.
Ears that pierce the air.
Coconut cream skin.
A bust like a violin.
A forest of kin.
Refined princess smile.
An only daughter: a child.
Incredibly wild.
“Ears that pierce the air” sticks out for me, not only in how it creates a sort of visual shape of what the ears might look like, but it’s also a bit ironical that ears could pierce since they are usually the ones being pierced.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, I like how the rhyming makes this piece a bit like a song. It flows quite nicely, particularly in how each line defines a feature of the character.
👏
I didn't even realize the irony involved with the ears. That's a good interpretation. For me, this line was meant to hint at the race of the main character.
DeleteAlso, the rhyming was purely experimental to see if I could pull it off but I don't think I'm going to continue it with future installments. I think it would be too hard to do continuously.
The shape of the ears really works well to show the race of the character, it is a great line. Also, I understand about the rhyming, it can often be detrimental to one's creative thought process.
Delete